Gallows Nymph (Short): Unclaimed Artifact- An Ad of Satire

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed connoisseurs of the audacious, allow me to introduce you a most tantalizing and provocative unclaimed artifact- the illustrious, headless La Du Crete. A demure mother and wife by day, a beast by night.

Do not be deceived by her posthumous state, Now free of the constraints of her former, respectable coverings. The talk of the town is still an item of immense historic value, whose own filthy deeds now surely belongs to the immortal annals of history.

This corpse, once a mother of four and a wife of a high banker, was notorious for its dissolute nature and immoral affairs. The celebrated limbs, so revered in the highest circles of Paris, now languishing forlornly, naked and exposed, her once-beauteous head now a macabre relic, gibbeted for public display.

As the body of a renowned adulteress, once a beauteous creature of divine proportions, the lifeless piece once boasted immense knowledge of genitals of nearly all species of men and some beasts. Thus by extension, their extensions. Since the guests who frequented it, ~it, by which then once was merely~ “her” were several of the most notables of the Kingdom, this makes the item not only of anatomical value, zoological value, but our national one as well. Having hosted as much as a Parliament, visited more than the Vatican.

Oh, but do not be fooled by the lack of her fabled visage, for this scandalous corpse, ~each ivory limb, she taught with licentious art~ could still beguile with every inch of her once-expensive form. Do remember, though, that her nubile corpse is still fresh, demanding your upmost immediate attention before it is discarded in a pauper's ditch.

Behold, the eagerness of Madame's still- amorous bosoms, once the envy of Parisian socialite. Though now tinged with death but they still heroically bore the traces of her ample firmness. Still bursting with the last breaths of her heaving desires, begging to be caressed and fondled. Still haunted by the ghostly touch of countless lovers. Their lips at times, at time in pairs, feasting upon their exquisite peaks.

And what of her nubile haunches? This captivating cadaver, of cherubic and irresistible curves, once adorned with the finest of fabrics, now on display for all those who dare to look could still leave one breathless. Behold the delicate contours of Madame Du Crete's unclaimed long tapering legs, sculpted with such Pagan arts, now nerveless and frail, once played by our King, who to him was his goddess.

Every inch of her dainty, admired feet, molded by a life time of bow ribbon-ed- mules, as quick to spread as her thighs, still shaped by the memory of her high-heeled mules.

And at last, the hostels that lie between her shapely thighs. So expensive and so lauded. Though it is true, Madame Du Crete's body may feature some signs of use, Her belly, the receiver of countless tokens of love. Her married entrance, entrusted to innumerable suitors. It was but a gentle defect of her nature, for after all she was: a proud banker's wife. It was only natural her nature is to welcome all Aphrodisiac deposits.

Alas, this once- celebrated orifice, this treasure, will never again be able to climax. But take heart, for now it has the potential to become a plaything for the discerning necrophile. For a mere pittance, you can experience the thrill of possessing a legend, and revel in the knowledge that this body, once worshipped by the elite, and used by our King, is now yours to ride.

Now, my dearest friend, you have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to claim this still rutting treasure for your own while her supple, frail body still holds the semblance of its once-legendary beauty now silently awaits your caresses. Forget the world, and let yourself come and bid your final respects to a former wife who now, discarded in her perishing state, could still play host to our liaisons. Now, she awaits a new kind of intimacy, a final send-off that only the most daring can truly appreciate. So come, step forth, and make Madame's unclaimed entrance yours. Do not hesitate, for this opportunity is fleeting. Carpe diem

So, let us raise a glass to the fallen goddess of prostitutes who has become a whore for eternity.

Claim your piece of this irresistible whore. Before the surgeons' scapels!

Yours sincerely,

A Pimp to the Dead

It is also important to mention that La Du Crete's head is gibbeted and not included with the booking of her body.